A Daughter's Need for Her Father

Emotional development

People who are unable to control their emotions often lack the ability to effectively cope with the natural changes of life. They are often terrified of conflict and they are often unable to accept constructive criticism. This is no different for daughters. The interaction between a father and his daughter helps in the development of the part of her brain that regulates her emotional responses (Day, 2007, p. 149). Erickson (1998) posited that the level of relationship between a father and his daughter sets the platform for her perception of happiness in her adult years (p. 117). According to Day, girls are able to derive a greater sense of emotional security when their fathers are engaging and responsible (p. 134). 

Emotional competence is revealed through the ability to exercise self control in expression. Daughters need their fathers to teach them how to do this. While she may be able to find temporary satisfaction in other things and people, there is only one person who can adequately satisfy that hunger for her father. As such, daughters long to have that connection with their fathers.  Daughters need their father to be emotionally involved in their lives so that they would not feel the need to look for that fulfillment elsewhere (Roche & Roche, 2011, p. 18). The role of a father in the emotional development of his daughter cannot be overemphasized.

Social development

Not only do fathers affect the emotional development of their daughters, but they also influence the development of their social skills. Daughters whose fathers are integrally involved in their lives are better able to adapt to unfamiliar situations and environment. This was revealed in a study when three groups of infants were left in a laboratory with strangers. It was said that the infants which displayed the highest level of distress was the group whose fathers were the least involved in their lives, while the most adaptable infants were those whose fathers were the most involved (Parke, 1996, p. 128). According to Parke, while fathers are said to influence the social skills of their sons at early ages, it seemed as if the influence of the father on their daughters and their social skills were shown at later times in their lives (p.  127). 

Daughters whose fathers are uninvolved in their lives tend to express lower social competence. Damon, Eisenberg and Lerner (2006) referred to a study conducted by Gottman, Katz and Hooven in 1997. As part of the study, the researchers examined the impact of paternal involvement on daughters. They found that daughters whose fathers helped them with the regulation of their emotions were rated as more socially competent by their teachers than those whose fathers were not as involved (p. 440). According to Day (2007), children are able to recognize emotional reactions in others because of the rough physical play that their fathers provide. Based on these findings, it may be deduced that there is a relationship between the involvement of the father in the emotional development of his daughter and her social competence. It may be inferred that daughters need fathers to help them to regulate their emotions so that they can be better able to interact with others and even with themselves.

Cognitive development

Paternal absenteeism affects the cognitive development of daughters. According to Parke (1996), the cognitive development of a daughter is spurred on by the things a father says to her. Parke posited that the praises and compliments of a father are important to this process of cognitive growth among girls (p. 162). The influence of fathers on the cognitive development of their children is tied to their presence as validating voices. Meeker (2006) pointed out that studies revealed that “six-month-old babies score higher on tests of mental development if their dads are involved in their lives” and that the warmth and control offered by fathers helps girls to perform better in school (p. 23). Girls whose fathers affirm their performance in school experience a greater sense of accomplishment and are often encouraged to continue learning.

According to Wollons (1993), the qualities that he brings to the parenting relationship cannot be interchanged with those offered by the mother (p. 216). Since the validation of both parents is believed to be important, it cannot be denied that the influence of the father on the development of cognitive competence should not be downplayed. One may be able to see that there is a relationship between the cognitive, emotional and social development of a daughter, all of which the father is believed to have a prolific influence on. A daughter who is emotionally unstable may find it difficult to control herself and this affects what she thinks about herself. This deficiency can contribute to her inability to effectively interact with others. Furthermore, emotional and social incompetence have the propensity to affect cognitive development among daughters. This cycle is perpetuated or impeded by the presence or absence of the father respectively.

Physical development

The influence of fathers on the physical development of their daughters is tied to the way that fathers often play with them (Kiselica, 1995). According to Kiselica, fathers provide rough play which helps in the development of motor skills, while giving the child an opportunity to exercise (p. 134). Meeker (2006) postulated that the presence of the father in the life of his daughter is essential to her physical development (p. 225). Additionally, studies suggest that girls whose fathers are involved in their lives enter puberty at later times than those whose fathers are absent (Webster, 2009, p. 141). This directly affects the realization of their sex drive and the expression of same.

Paternal absenteeism may result in the eventual manifestation of physical illnesses. According to Erickson (1998), because daughters internalize problems, they first reason that they are the cause of the issue (p. 118). If their fathers abandon them, they tend to believe that he left because of them. The internalizing of the issues results in the development of various illnesses or in a proclivity for physical discomfort. Erickson postulated that this illness is somewhat self-inflicted and believed it may be in an attempt to get the attention of the father (p. 121).